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Comment on What's the difference between asking someone title or someone's pronouns ?

It might also just be that the person asking you just always asks. Because as you mentioned, only asking when someone "looks" trans or non-binary can be rather invalidating. So to avoid that, they just don't assume.

For your last paragraph, I'm personally of the opinion that, short of de-gendering the language entirely, a good solution would basically just be a gender/pronoun badge, but stylised to be more easily readable from a distance. Like a bracelet or a necklace or something of that nature. That would eliminate the need to ask in the vast majority of cases, because the person would be wearing something that unambiguously signals the answer. And it would be completely detached from the presentation of their body, which might not match their gender, or their clothing, which probably shouldn't be gendered anyway. Changing pronouns, for whatever reason like coming out or just being fluid, would just be a matter of swapping out the single symbol.

It's not really feasible, of course, but even as a queer person I find asking and being asked quite clunky. But whenever I go into LGBT+ or geek spaces, I find that wearing a badge just sidesteps the whole issue.

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NoIWontPickaName@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
We should use a pink triangle.

Easy to know who falls under the tag.

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- darq@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  I can think of a few differences between a universally voluntarily chosen pronoun badge, and a pink triangle forced on queer people to mark them as other.
  
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  - NoIWontPickaName@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    Either way makes it a really easy target identifier though, just saying.
    
    By all means, don't live in fear or isolation.
    
    Unfortunately, the places where this would do the most good are also the places where they would be in the most danger by wearing one.
    
    It doesn't affect me either way, I am neither queer nor a hater thereof, it's just a fucked up world right now.
    
    Hopefully not for much longer though.
    
    Also, can we address how weird it is that queer is the chosen word now?
    
    They nailed reclaiming that word.
    
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    darq@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    The idea would be that the badge would be worn by everyone. Which is why I said it isn't really feasible.
    
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Elevator7009@kbin.cafe ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

It might also just be that the person asking you just always asks.

did I pass and you just ask everyone this because not everyone conforms to the gender binary?”
… I already brought up that possibility :(

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- darq@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  Yes. I wasn't disagreeing with you or anything. Just saying what I thought would be most likely.
  
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