Uh… @DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works ?

I think it sounds like you might be a danger to yourself.

I don’t know your situation, but I just want to point out two things:

1. The belief that those around a depressed person secretly don’t want them around or would appreciate them more when they’re gone is wildly untrue. It kind of sounds like your brain is trying to convince you of this, and you should know that your brain is almost certainly lying. Lots of people know folks who are depressed that we love very much and are grateful to have in our lives.

2. People who survive suicide attempts consistently express regret and a sense of terror during the act that felt like someone else was trying to kill them.

I know that during depression, negative thoughts can make a convincing case that you cannot expect anything to get better, but there are A LOT of people alive today who enjoy their lives who felt the same way at some time in the past. I hope that with support you can perhaps be one of these people.