I used to canvas door-to-door for a public interest group, so I almost always give them some cash and offer them water and a bathroom break. It was an absolutely horrific job and I’m sure it’s even worse today. I still want them to move the fuck on as quickly as possible, though.

I still remember the best interaction I ever had going door-to-door. We were raising money to help fight rising insurance rates, and I was talking to one old guy standing next to his truck. He listened to my spiel and then said “I’ll tell you why insurance rates are so high: it’s because the n*****rs are burning the cities down.” I said “well that’s what we’re fighting, sir” and he gave me $25.