Comment on those of you with good skills to defuse a tense situation at the workplace, what advice can you give me?

rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

I would suggest breathing and taking time to respond if you need to respond at all. I’d also, genuinely (and I’m not trying to say anything about you here) try to check in with your internal monologue.

If you want to effectively resolve conflicts, you have to make people feel like you’re listening to them even if you disagree, and even if you think they’re inane or annoying or stupid. In my experience, to make people feel like you’re hearing what they’re saying and not just being dismissive (being dismissive absolutely will antagonise people), I have to make an effort to try to empathise, try to understand where they’re coming from, and try to be charitable.

To me, just picking up on terms in your post like “Karen”, and “snippy”, it feels like you’re dismissing this person - which I totally get. You’re not going to resolve conflicts that way, if you’re trying to resolve this particular conflict. It’s not possible to resolve every conflict, and some people simply will not engage with your attempts to work things out and will shout you down and try to trample you, but if you want a resolution you have to be willing to try.

Aside from that, yeah, walking away from your colleague I can see them feeling a bit abandoned by that. You’re totally allowed to just stand there quietly in support - in fact, some people may even feel threatened if you try to interject as it’ll then be two against one, and that might escalate things.

Anyway, good that you’re asking, and good luck! Remember, you’re allowed to take time to respond. It’s better for you to breathe and calm yourself if you feel nervous during conflict, rather than leaping to reply and listening to any kind of nervous, defensive reaction. Take time, slow down, and breathe. It’s normal to feel nervous and uncomfortable and upset when facing conflict. ✌️

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