Comment on Best stay away from that guy
shalafi@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
LOL, dating isn’t hard for guys. You think guys have it rough, you should hear it from the girl’s point of view. Jesus fucking Christ. These women must be horny as hell to even keep trying with some y’all. I should start a “dating tips for guys” comm.
For background; I’m 5’8", 140lbs. soaking wet, been broke most of my life (am now), no real prospects, no fancy cars, nothing. I take care of my health and hygiene, mostly, dress well (nice clothes are stupid cheap, nearly free and comfortable) and have a decent attitude towards the opposite sex. I drink loads of light beer every day, but I’m not dancing on tables or angry drunk, ever.
Look in the mirror and ask yourself why a woman might want you. You know you got flaws. What can you fix? Start fixing those things. Baby steps. Can you polish up your teeth? Lose some fat or gain some tone? Better haircut? Dress nicer? Got any interesting hobbies? And your interests don’t have to be attractive. Having a passion is interesting in itself.
What can you do? You know damned well you can do better. I’ve met very few humans I considered “maxed out” on attractiveness stats. (OK, strippers are kinda cheating, they know what they’re doing.)
And keep in mind, no one out there is judging you harder than yourself. Posted this a while back. Read it for yourself. Point being, I inadvertently saw myself from the outside, and I was surprised.
I’ll give you a pro-tip; A great first date question is, “Tell me about a fucked up first date.” Listen, learn, don’t be that guy. Some of these women had me laughing out loud. SERIOUSLY?! And have a good story of your own! You know you got one.
OK, one more; Join these dating sites as a woman looking for a man. Read the men’s sad-sack profiles, look at their pictures, and don’t be that guy. Dead animals and fancy motor vehicles ain’t gonna turn anyone on. And FFS, stop with the, “I’m a really nice guy and just want to find true love.” No. Yeah, they want love too, but they’re not interested in being your mother.
Tried that on PoF before I met my second wife. Jesus y’all, I felt awful for my gender. I really mean that. I was actually sad, really felt for those guys. But I didn’t want to fuck them. Can’t imagine how turned off the women must be, but they got stories.
REDACTED@infosec.pub 12 hours ago
Uhh, the problem with dating men are the things you can’t see. Pretty much majority of men are capable of violence, have tendencies towards cheating, toxicity (or just mansculinity), men who make first good impression due to naturally hitting it off and humor, but later you realize he sees women as sex toys, ectera ectera.
Insert good guy meme here
boonhet@sopuli.xyz 10 hours ago
Just because we’re capable of violence (i.e stronger) doesn’t mean we are violent. I’ve had exes attack me at random, never did I do anything to defend myself except maybe try to hold them still. Now if another man attacked me, I wouldn’t hesitate. But never have I as an adult attacked another person. It’s a fucked up thing to do, it’s so easy to accidentally disable another person for life.
Likewise, I’ve never cheated, but I’ve been cheated on plenty. So maybe it’s not a men vs women thing but rather a shitty people thing?
Plus if we’re talking about men seeing women as sex toys, let’s talk women seeing men as walking wallets or maybe let’s just stop stereotyping people based on gender because otherwise we’ll just sow more hate between the genders.
REDACTED@infosec.pub 9 hours ago
When I said being capable of violence in the context of dating women, obviously I meant being capable of violence against women.
I’m just continuing the discussion. I’m sorry if speaking about men’s red flags/dealbreakers makes you uncomfortable, but I constantly hear about women’s red flags/dealbreakers, but it isn’t usually followed by “maybe wr should not talk bad about other genders”
squaresinger@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
If you keep getting into relationships with crappy people, that it might not be because everyone is crappy, but because that’s what you subconsciously look for.
Check out How we love if you want to know more.
MrMakabar@slrpnk.net 12 hours ago
Being capable of violence and men being masculine are really hardcore deal breakers /s
REDACTED@infosec.pub 11 hours ago
I don’t need a gymbro who chases blonde girl next door, I need a responsible man. I don’t need someone who is incapable of managing their emotions and defaults to violence. You saying these are not bad things just proves my point that majority of men are flawed and they themselves think of themselves as husband material, when in reality you’re something useful only at a bar when I feel lonely
MrMakabar@slrpnk.net 10 hours ago
Insults a form of violence. Emotional violence that is. If I wanted to, I could rather easily insult you. Therefore I am capable of violence. However I did not default to it, because the situation does not call for it.
You could have replied in whatever way possible to my comment. I did not insult you at all. You however defaulted to insulting me. So unlike me you are not just capable of violence, you default to it.
That is the difference between being capable of and defaulting to. Hope you get it.