Congratulations, you’ve been included in the “Assholes” pack.

If you wish to be removed from the pack, you must write a letter explaining why we should remove you and mail it to the address listed below with an attached blood sample in a crystal vial packaged in a refrigerated container with proper padding fit for shipping.

Mastodon Inc, 228 East 45th Street Suite 9E New York, New York 10017

Spoiler

Disclaimer: this is a joke not intended to convey anything.