“Who you are” changes with context. For instance, you behave differently with your spouse than you do with your parents. There are things you would do and say with your spouse that you would not with your parents. Similarly if you are with a 4-year-old vs. with a coworker.
Behaving differently around different people doesn’t mean you’re being “fake”, it’s just an aspect of human social life.
the_q@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Tell that to autistic folks struggling with masking.
NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 3 weeks ago
When you say “struggling” with masking, do you mean struggling with trying to wear the right mask, or with feeling like you’re always wearing a mask?
the_q@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Masking is acting in a perceived socially appropriate way so both.
NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 3 weeks ago
My experience is that this struggle is mostly the result of anxiety over being disliked, and that anxiety can be reduced or removed by mental re-framing of the situation causing the anxiety. Re-framing is what I’m trying to express in my comment above.
Rather than getting stuck in the anxiety spiral over needing to wear the right mask, recognize that this entire concept is increasing the social separation between yourself and the other people, that the sensation of wearing a mask comes mostly from unfamiliarity with social behaviors (I don’t know how to behave in this situation, so I have to try to fake it). The solution is not to wear a better mask, or to wear the mask better, but to recognize that the feeling of masking is being created by anxiety over not knowing what to do.
I’m not trying to say that it’s easy, to say “just get over it”. I’m saying that you can change your perspective on (and emotional reactions to) social interactions by changing the way you think about them, and with practice, and with exposure, and teach yourself over time that the anxiety is unwarranted.