If we are honest with ourselves, we all have biases that end in -phobia. They are on a siding scale and get more pronounced in certain situations. The assholes in society don’t gaf about their biases and don’t care if they say or do hurtful things as a result. The more enlightened people know about their lizard brain biases and try their best not to act on them.

Maybe you are a bit homophobic. But you are aware of your biases and you can make sure you don’t act on them in a way that is hurtful to other people. Knowing is half the battle. So don’t beat yourself up over it. From what I’ve been reading in your post you are doing it right.