I think your notion of charitable apathy probably only comes across as condescending if in your explanation you make it sound like you’ve never been (or would never be) in a position to receive that treatment from others.

I feel like a few words tossed in to clarify that would probably help people avoid a gut reaction about your ideas.

People might also be getting hung up on the idea of treating someone like a child. I had my kids a little later in life, and I treat my toddlers like adults. What do I do when an adult is crying? I sit with them and comfort them. What do I do if I see an adult about to step in dog shit? Yell to them to tell them a warning to watch their feet. What do I do if an adult tells me they’re hungry? I help them get food. What do I do if adult tells me they want to play with hot wheels with me? I say yes.

Maybe I fundamentally don’t understand how others conceptualize treating a child. I think that term is super loaded. Like the word “savory”. You can ask 10 people what the phrase/word means and you’ll get 10 confident and incompatible answers.