As a dev with several close friends who have combined decades of game development - you’re not missing out much. The pay isn’t as good as it needs to be for that amount of crunch, the big companies have so many petty squabbles and politics, and it’s a good road to burn-out. The engines have gotten good enough that making games is a matter of spending the time at night/weekends. Not glamorous, but can be fun and rewarding, even if you never ship.