Yes, most sane persons I know have disavowed the entire concept of being with someone else.
And archaic leftover of a more dependant age.
Now it’s just handcuffs with no upside
Ending cheating is as easy as ending “being in a couple”
and for people who can imagine life without this crutch
it becomes more and more foreign why anyone
would ever accept such an oppressive custom into their household
bigbabybilly@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Quit cheating or split up. It’s not complicated.
interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 3 days ago
rat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
Could you explain what you mean by calling it an oppressive custom? Personally, I love being with someone. It has the upside of me getting to enjoy companionship with another human being, and it doesn’t feel like handcuffs. Sometimes I have to do things that I wouldn’t do otherwise for the sake of my partner’s feelings/wellbeing, but isn’t that the case in all relationships? Romantic, familial, platonic, or otherwise? If my partner wants me to do something I’m truly uncomfortable with (like allowing them to track my location), and we can’t agree on a compromise, I’d just end that relationship and find someone I’m more compatible with.
interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 14 hours ago
It’s hard for me to express it clearly but you description doesn’t seem to include an overwhelming sense that being in any kind of relationship like that MUST also mean a exclusivity of intimacy. Complete with paranoia over whether you will ever violate this hard line and become a cheater.
And I’m not against some people wanting that. I’m against that being the default understanding for almost all sexual relationships, even when the sexuality part dies and then you become a prisoner of the relationship, torn between convenience of staying together and being sexually unfulfilled, forever.
Not to mention all the policing that comes around hunting violators of these pacts. And worse, the societal skewing pushing everyone into these exclusivity arrangements. Where I work, just 20 years ago it was well known that married people favored each other and the promotion were far more likely for married than the celibates. There are often many other forms of incentives, a lot of them financial, disfavorable toward celibates.
These types of arrangement used to be inescapable literally, to the point of many killing their spouses and elites having wars over the right to escape, and still we barely are able to escape the oppressive institution and its demands.
crapwittyname@feddit.uk 2 days ago
Freedom. I am free to fall in love with someone else. My partner is free to fall in love with someone else. If she does, then I want her to be with that person if they make her happier than I do, because I love her and I want her to be happy and free. She has the freedom to meet with that person and date them without my knowledge, if that’s what she wants to do. I’m not afraid of that pain, because it’s right that she has that freedom.
Demanding that you “tell me if you’re having feelings for someone else” is handcuffs, because it essentially destroys any relationship that might otherwise blossom between two other people. The key is to work on your relationship and make sure you’re both getting what you need, not policing the other’s behaviour.
BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 days ago
Also like, have we all forgotten about the possibility of someone having two phones.