I had a manager who wouldn’t respect anyone who didn’t yell at him. Seriously. He had serious anger issues and would fly off the handle over nothing. He directed a lot of shit at me in particular, probably because I’ve been traumatized by crap like this before and that sociopath probably sensed it. I wasn’t yet aware of a lot of resources I know about today, didn’t have the self-esteem I’ve since found, and I was homeless at the time (thank goodness, I had friends who let me stay temporarily), so I absolutely depended on this job.

One day, a coworker told me that he only stops picking on someone when they yell at him. Sadly, I can’t give you the satisfying response you’re probably expecting: I refused to yell at him. I thought the entire idea was absurd, extremely unprofessional, and had the potential to backfire terribly.

I wish I could say that was the last manager to pick on me, but thankfully the last one was a mental health professional and had the listening skills to take my feedback … albeit only after she made me cry.

Man, I didn’t mean to trauma-dump. But after the shit I’ve been through, I can’t imagine attempting to pass such suffering onto others. I’m extremely grateful for the supportive environment that (usually) surrounds the therapy field. It feels good to be honest with managers and supervisors and know they respect constructive criticism. I can almost feel my heart healing.