Comment on Are you using Lemmy / others to create noise in your life and to replace talking to people irl?
testfactor@lemmy.world 3 days agoI know mental health issues complicate things, but that’s something to work on, not an obstacle that can’t be surmounted. I have tons of friends with mental health struggles of all kinds.
But you say that you don’t value the same people I do, but what makes you think so?
As I say, I was at a local boardgame meetup this past weekend. Not exactly a “party” crowd. And to be clear, there’s local meetups for everything under the sun. What do you value in people that you don’t think you could find a social group for? What makes you think finding a group you would vibe with is particularly hard?
chosensilence@pawb.social 3 days ago
yes, but we are all unique, unfortunately. none of them are me with my specific problems. a big part of my struggle is socializing in general.
because i know the reception of the beliefs i hold and they are universally condemned
there aren’t any groups that interest me in my area. i have looked on all the usual places.
testfactor@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I have friends with crippling social anxiety. It’s a lot of work, and they have their ups and downs for sure. But it’s something that they’re working on in therapy and making strides on. It is possible to improve and for things to get better.
I mean, it’s hard to say without knowing exactly what you’re talking about, but universally condemned likely seems strong. But regardless, you said that you don’t value the same people I do. Does that mean you can’t value someone with different beliefs than you?
You say that there aren’t any groups in your area that would interest you. What kind of group would interest you? What group, if you saw it was starting up in your area, would motivate you to go out and meet people?
chosensilence@pawb.social 3 days ago
oh sure, i don’t deny that. i have experienced a lot of positive growth over the years and hope it continues. but i am not financially stable enough to pursue psychiatric and psychological treatment, so… just kinda dealing with it the ways i can.
not necessarily. our differences cannot be significant. it does mean i am far more intolerable than most, though, but on a personal level… not as an outward participant in society. i am pleasant to everyone i meet, but developing a friendship comes with baggage for me. i am less willing to talk to people with the goal of friendship in mind because i largely encounter folks who, frankly, i am better than. and that’s pretty sad because i suck.
it is unlikely i would go because i am unable to attend events solo due to anxiety. if i don’t know anyone i have no security blanket. i am not in the right headspace to tackle this issue at the moment.
testfactor@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Fair enough on all counts.
I would point out that if everyone only made friends with people better than them, no one would have any friends. It’s important to pour into others as well as to get poured into. It’s how we make the world better. And just because someone is “worse” than you doesn’t mean they don’t have value. And it doesn’t mean there isn’t something you could gain from having them as a friend. I’ve had friends who are “better” than me and “worse” than me make positive change in my life.
And I know you say you’re not in a place to work on this, and I can respect that, but I would say that it’s never a bad time to continue leaning forward in a positive direction. And if this is something that’s negatively impacting your life, the sooner you work on it, the sooner you’ll be less impacted by it. No time like the present and all that.