Comment on Men are opening up about mental health to AI instead of humans
a_wild_mimic_appears@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks agoIs it really that ridiculous? Biologically seen, men’s properties are mostly due to genetic selection by women over thousands of years, if they are conscious about it or not. Men that are more attractive to women are preferred partners, and the selection pressure is mostly on men, since women have a much higher biological cost in pregnancy. That is pretty proven science, and this pressure is also found in culture: men have the attributes that women want them to have to give them an advantage.
It would only take 2-3 generations of women AND men doing child care to fix those issues by reinforcing openness and acceptance, but that takes education, esp in the human sciences, and education for the masses in the US has been dismantled long ago even before the current razing.
Doom@ttrpg.network 3 weeks ago
Yes that is ridiculous because the intent is to lay responsibility at women’s feet, again. Like always.
This stuff about how women see men or whatever weird breeding shit you’re rambling about is irrelevant you’re just trying to argue women have a choice in some weird way to make the men they want and “choose” not to. That’s so silly.
The simple fact is men are allowed to not take part in their kid’s lives and having one parent do the job isn’t gonna work regardless if they are male or female. As you suggested that is a comment on our social structure which i agree with but again, not what is being said in this thread it’s very clear they are blaming women directly and entirely.
Now again there’s dozens of factors at play here but the bottom line is men are responsible. They hold power in society, they are allowed to disregard children and they are the ones bullying boys into being the way they are. Do women have a role in that? Sure. Is it their responsibility or fault? No that’s silly as fuck especially cause most couldn’t have jobs, couldn’t vote and still can’t do either across the globe.
Bottom line is men are failing men and the first step to a solution is empathy especially towards women which this thread lacks hard. Women are literally the ones leading the charge in reinforcing openness and education, don’t believe me? go to your local elementary school and check out how the teachers speak to kids. Some will be men most will be women and they’re impressively kind and open and teaching a variety of skills to help kids be better people. Men as a whole are not doing that, in fact most men in power are actively trying not to let that happen. They call it sissyfication.
a_wild_mimic_appears@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
You know what i see? Men being afraid of going alone with their kid to the park, because the mom’s there believe they are a sexual predator just by gender. Men not appliying for kindergarden or school jobs because of a tendency of mothers to see every man in childcare as a pedophile. Men getting called the cops onto them in the parking lot when going to their car after shopping.
And it’s the same with violence against women - every man is automatically seen as a brutalizer, or someone who would daterape.
As long as those prejudices exist - and they are mainly female prejudices! - men will not open up. When you are seen as a threat even if you aren’t one (see the man and the bear in the woods), there is no way they will become empathic, because innocently playing with your child in the park could have lifelong consequences for you.
whostosay@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Either you don’t talk to women or you have some insecurities you need to reconcile.
I’m sure some of this exists in some people, but this isn’t the whole of reality.
I don’t give a single fuck what happens when I open up, and if anyone around me doesn’t like it, I do not give a shit.
Just be yourself unapologetically, and if the people around you don’t like it, find new people.
a_wild_mimic_appears@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
Most of my friends are women, i have more issues with men than women; and they also aren’t judging when i open up. But i know that they aren’t representative.
The issue is that it only takes one overzealous woman to ruin a mans life in the US: having trouble with cops on the playground, losing a job over social media accusations without proof - at least for the large majority of men. (things are different when we look at people in power, where hard facts aren’t enough to remove them - this enrages me just as much as any woman)
In that way, women are as much an aggressor as men are, it’s just that their tools are different. Where a aggressive man might tend to physical violence, aggressive women are able to dish it out with social violence.
I just wanted to show up that painting men as the source of all evil is shortsighted. There are a lot of women applying pressure to keep men in the role they are in, cementing the patriarchate just as much as men are.
And why shouldn’t they? If you don’t want to work outside of passion projects, or want to be a homemaker while your husband brings in the money? If you shy away from responsibility and feel safer when a strong father figure decides? Or being fine with men being in charge, as long as they have control over their husband? Those lifestyles are all valid too, and they profit directly from the patriarchate in one way or another, even if it might not be healthy at all.
There is no (or next to none) help for men to step outside of this structure. I am totally for helping women to get their rightful place side by side to men, but there also has to be a discussion about how not only men are oppressing everyone, but also how women are using their tools to oppress everyone, and how it is harmful to just paint one side as the perpetrator here.
There also should be more of an discourse about how life and values for men should look after achieving equality, because just replacing the patriarchate with an matriarchate is not gonna cut it.