partial_accumen@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Ugh. I know that personality you’re talking about. Everything with them is a fight, and they expect the same in return and are pissed when you don’t play along.
“I’m not avoiding confrontation. I’m simply not willing to be your non-consensual sparring partner. You thrive on drama where for me its draining. You’re trying to provoke me into active conflict as a means to stave off your starvation. Instead, I’m disengaging with you so I don’t die of exhaustion.”
El_Scapacabra@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
You perfectly described someone I lived with for over 5 years. He truly broke something in me.
Everything was an argument and he used every logical fallacy in the book to "win" said argument. He did this with everyone he came into contact with and he definitely felt entitled to people's time and energy. Most people ended up avoiding him and I don't think he'll ever understand he was the only one to blame for that. Or that he wasn't half as intelligent and "logical" as he proclaimed himself to be.
partial_accumen@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Were they in their twenties? I’ve run across lots of folks in their 20s that were like that. I admit I did some of that myself in my late teens and early twenties. Its certainly possible to grow out of that, and cutting them out of your lift is the right thing to do. I know I didn’t have the words or reasons why I was doing that at the time, but with years of life experience I can now verbalize it. Feel free to give them some parting words as to why you’re doing it too. If they gain a bit of maturity and self awareness they can make a change and be someone worth being around.
However, its not your job to fix them or even put up with them. You can leave them with their own problems.
El_Scapacabra@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
Late twenties and early thirties in this case. I told him on multiple occasions that what he was doing wasn't ok and why. Unfortunately he doggedly refused to introspect and instead put the responsibility for his problems on everyone but himself. (Usually in the form of toddler tantrums, it was fucking exhausting.)
You're absolutely right by the way, sometimes people are like this due to immaturity and they're open to correcting their behaviour with honest feedback and introspection. Unfortunately this wasn't one of those cases, so I ended up cutting ties.
I have a feeling OP experienced something similar. They just end up not engaging with people like this entirely. And honestly, good for them.