Understandable. And relatable.
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NONE_dc@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
When I say “I hate small talk” I actually mean “please Shut up, Im really anxious and I don’t know what to respond to you other that nodding and «Thats crazy»”
milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
ameancow@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
When most people say “I hate small talk” it’s because they don’t socialize broadly and don’t really “get” how it works, and how it’s often just a way of expressing how you feel at that moment, and when two people are making small-talk, it’s less about the information being shared and more about the tone, intimacy and connection, like sharing space and being open with passing thoughts.
People in a healthy relationship will “small talk” for hours about the weather or pizza prices, and then launch into a deep debate about post-modernism and expressionist art, which will dissolve as one or both get distracted by the pizza finally arriving.
When someone says “I hate small talk” it just reveals they have no understanding how human connection actually works.
CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 weeks ago
Small talk is the human equivalent to the initialization/handshake phase of the TCP protocol.
It establishes the connection, introduces the speakers, validates the presence of the other, and then allows data transmission to take place.
Unlike computers, we humans require years of practice to get it correct because there isn’t one set standard.
mr_satan@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
I hate small talk, because you (a stranger) do not interest me and I don’t care about trying to connect with you. I have neither the need nor the energy to try and am very comfortable just being in silence.
I small talk with people that I interact on a daily basis and need to communicate with (coworkers). Even then it heavily depends on how much energy I have.
I small talk with my friends and SO because I want to connect. So I put effort in to be present in the conversations.
It’s not right to lump small talk with a cashier, cab driver or a haircutter together with small talk with a friend or a partner.
ameancow@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Pretty much sums up all our problems as a civilization in one paragraph, thank you.
mr_satan@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
Listen man, we (as individuals) can’t care for or help everybody. Connect with the ones you care about and don’t harm everyone else. The fact that I don’t care about you, doesn’t mean we can’t coexist or even help each other.
Looking form another angle, why not wanting to socialize in stranger small talk is bad? Why I am expected to accommodate? Why can’t we just enjoy the silence in this hypothetical situation?
I see this sentiment more often than not. Me, as the less social party, is expected to move out of my comfort zone, but the person trying get me into a conversation isn’t expected do the same and just keep to themselves.
NONE_dc@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Pal you actually sounds like someone who really HATES small talk, Jesus…