Hey, listen. I don’t say this to just ANYONE, but I like the cut of your jib! What’s a jib, you ask? Not important. What IS important is I’ve got an amazing deal on a bridge I’d like to sell you! See, I gotta clear my inventory space for the new models coming out soon, and this model is from the 1800s. You’ve heard the childrens song London Bridge is falling down? Yeah. Falling down in cost, and I’m passing the savings onto yooouuuuu!!!

See, most bridges cost MILLIONS of dollars, but I’ll sell it to you for only $50,000! Or my name isn’t James J. O’Brien!