so I had to apologize to him about it. That family dynamic has never really changed
Good news! Now that you’re an adult, when your dad demands an apology you can tell him to go fuck himself
Comment on the young always think they have all the right answers but THIS eventually happens
vonbaronhans@midwest.social 17 hours ago
My dad was smart when I was growing up. He is smart now.
But he’s so entrenched in the worst right wing political lunacy, and always has been, that I’ve rarely viewed him as someone to imitate morally.
I blew up at him as a teen over the Iraq War. He never once justified his position in anything remotely resembling a reasoned argument, but I hurt his feelings, so I had to apologize to him about it. That family dynamic has never really changed, so I just don’t talk to him anymore.
Genius@lemmy.zip 12 hours ago
vonbaronhans@midwest.social 10 hours ago
Ah, that’s the thing. He never demanded an apology. He sulked, and it was others in the family who learned about it (through either me or him) that told me I was wrong and to apologize.
I’ve never been one to back down from a conflict I thought was worthwhile. It wasn’t until I was literally a married adult when an in-law (whom we love dearly) told my SO about how my family “sweeps things under the rug”. When my SO told me later, I was like “nah… but wait do we though?” That led to a lot of revisiting old memories and realizing how conflict avoidant we really were (except for me, lol).
Yeah, if either of my parents demanded an apology from me for anything right now… they have some choice words coming.
Genius@lemmy.zip 7 hours ago
Good news! You can tell the rest of the family to go fuck themselves too
vonbaronhans@midwest.social 6 hours ago
Yeah, I’m conflicted about my family enough as it is. But push comes to shove, I’m fine on my own at this point.
HollowNaught@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
This happens way too commonly for me. My mum or dad do something ludicrous, I call them out for it, they can’t retort anything I’ve said, they get butthurt, the other comes to me telling me I need to apologise, I do, they learn nothing, rinse repeat
I failed one subject in my final year of uni so I had to repeat a year only doing that one subject, and they convinced me to move back in because I wasn’t doing much. Very stupid move on my part. I’m glad I’m out. Nice to catch up with them but oh boy it’s terrible living with them
vonbaronhans@midwest.social 6 hours ago
That’s exactly it, yep. I’m well over apologizing at this point.
And yeah, I also moved back home for a while after college, and it was a bad time. Plenty of good, but plenty I’m glad to leave behind. Let us all strive to be better people than our parents were, I say.
I’m glad you’re out, and I hope you’re doing well. Stay safe out there!