But not like that, please, there are usually other options.
Comment on We have reached the “severed fingers and abductions” stage of the crypto revolution - Ars Technica
hamsda@lemm.ee 3 days agoIsn’t being jailed forever also an “easy way out”? I’m sure there are people on this planet who are not in jail, but, because of too little money or other circumstances, have less and get treated worse than people in jail.
Also, if being alive really is hell to you, you might want to do something about this.
angrystego@lemmy.world 3 days ago
reksas@sopuli.xyz 3 days ago
I dont think there is anything worse than being imprisoned, even if you are treated well. Though I guess if you don’t know of anything better anyway then maybe its different.
At least writing this made me feel better, no need to read or reply if you dont want to. I don’t mean to dump all this on you, but I cant think of sensible place for it elsewhere. I’m not sure if its even good idea to post this but I want to hear someone else’s thoughts about it for chance, be it you or someone else who happens to see this crazy wall of text.
If i could at least do something about things, it would be so bad but there is nothing I can do, only endure. Talking about it helps a bit, but it doesnt fix the problem. And by hell i mean slow erosion of everything until I have nothing left, not horrible suffering constantly. Its also not few big things but tons of smaller things that together make a mountain. Even if you fix one thing it doesnt remove the mountain and many things on it are things that can’t even be fixed by yourself. If i could at least work towards those things they wouldnt feel bad.
I have also tried looking for help, but healthcare and especially mental healthcare is badly neglected in finland. If you can get treatment then its ok quality, but the thing is you can’t because there is queue that is probably years long. It didnt even used to be like this, but our current government sees anyone who isnt rich as scum and so they cut funding to basic things while giving tax cuts to the rich. They even cut funding from programs and institutions that help people find work, so unemployement has skyrocketed too.
I guess this world feels like hell because so many things just fit into the concept for me. It doesnt feel like that all the time, if it did i would likely just kill myself or go insane and thus escape the suffering. Even if i want to kill myself I know I cant and shouldnt due to many reasons.
I can’t stop caring about important things and i feel like if I seriously try its like mutilating my soul or making myself into something I hate so I cant escape that way either. Also the way I am is also making me suffer, i think. Intelligent enough to see the problems but just stupid enough to not being able to do anything about them but not enough to try anyway.
I can’t do anything about those things because its like society itself has been structured in such way you can’t affect anything by following the rules and if you try it by not following the rules it doesn’t work either and just makes things worse. Best I could do is find someone else trying to do something and try support them, but I can’t find anyone and dont know where to look. I can’t even tell if its me who is crazy for caring or everyone else for not wanting to care about anything. I know I can’t fix world’s problems but doing at least something towards fixing them would be enough for me but I cant do anything alone that feels meaningful enough.
I can’t even wallow in selfpity because I know my problems aren’t even that bad especially compared to many other people. I also know many of my problems are my own fault, be it either mistakes or just not putting in enough effort. But I just can’t find the energy or motivation to put in that effort and don’t even know why.
I didnt want to go into specifics so there are a lot of other things not on the “list” here
I have tried to improve things like starting to go to gym, sit less on computer and go to different groups to be more social, so maybe that will start helping. I also really should try to look for ways how to help other people since good way to help yourself is to help someone else.
But ultimately even all that feels like just enduring by making oneself feel better about things
I have written similar things before and just deleted the whole thing. I guess I can just delete it later if it turns out to be bad idea. Its also going way off topic from the main thread, but at least I enjoy reading other’s off topic conversations here so hopefully its not that bad thing.