For me - don’t take this as the norm - I find friends through gaming, we become good friends over time, I’ll progressively ‘lower my guard’ and, as part of this process, make more and more sexual jokes and innuendos. Depending on how they react, it might stay at ‘teehee I’m still 13 making pp jokes’, or it might advanced to the ‘so I think you’re into some freaky shit, I’m into freaky shit, wanna bang?’ friends with benefits territory. If that goes okay, I’m almost certainly catching feelings, and thus ‘want to be a couple’ is the next step. A few shared or similar interests, or an interest in each other’s interests, is important too. Can’t be pounding like rabbits all the time…

Basically, I eat the desert first, and then have the main course. If we aren’t sexually compatable in some aspect, it is stupid to be dating, in my view. No need for hurt feelings or awkward breakups. And falling back to fwb is easy if we don’t work out for other reasons. Just because you like pet spiders and I want to light them on fire (eek) doesn’t mean that we can’t wake the neighbors with our moans and screams.