I see some of you have never played Battleshits before.

Rules are as follows:

• Two people enter a toilet cubicle each and proceed to try and shit.

• The first one to shit wins.

• If both players have shitted then the size of the shits is judged and the largest shit wins.

It is a puerile and crass game of speed, deception and defiantly not for the weak-stomached as I found out to my own detriment as a spectator.

This has been your daily reminder that we are all just slightly more evolved apes with access to the power of gods.