As a lifelong fattie, I have been assured for decades that all I have to do is eat right and exercise but I’m just too lazy so I deserve what I get. Tiny invisible creatures can affect my health? Next thing you’ll be telling me is that having my outhouse next to the well is causing my family to get sick. We both know it’s demons. FFS.

Please excuse me while I crawl back into my depression hole, partially mitigated by SSRIs, which somehow also induce GI issues for reasons completely unknown to science. Can’t wait for RFK’s camps, maybe I can finally get healthy there.