Oof man. I’m so sorry, that’s rough.

I’ve had to deal with similar things on a lesser degree in 2018, wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but what you’ve gone through does sound like genuine hell, and you’re one hell of a soldier for making it through, not to mention being able to talk about it like this to strangers on the internet, you’re amazing.

I hope you can get to a better place one day and that you have a good support network, this is heavy shit, a burden shared is a burden halved and all that. Hope 2025 gives you a break. Good luck!