Oh man, see" That’s the EXACT line my new story starts with. Ok, fine, just know that in my next story that you won’t read it’s about a guy with a very similar name to yours, but it’s not you.

And you know what? I totally get it if you’re not feeling up to diving into the first story. I mean, it’s only about the ever-so-fascinating shimmering thread between reality and unreality, cardboard bathtubs, insect existentialism, drugs, truth, justice, and the American way.

Oh wait, hold on—crap! That’s my next story, not the first.

Dammit, see what happens when a whole team of Russians (or wait, am I bot now? I keep forgetting the most current stuff people say about me), collecting our precious Russian Bitcoinz, sharing one account to spread propaganda and tear apart the very fabric of America through Lemmy posts? Ugh. So complicated keeping this huge propaganda machine going is tough!