Comment on Why are so many boys and men feeling alone and in the cold?

• SwingingKoala@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  why not take the time to articulate why you think “toxic masculinity” is such a problematic term?

  I did in my first reply:

  a gendered term to refer to behavior that’s not ok in either gender

  snarky, half-arsed replies

  Projecting much?

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  • Ilandar@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Opening with “ah yes” followed immediately by sarcasm is snarky. And yes, 13 words is a pretty half-arsed attempt. I think you can do better.

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    • SwingingKoala@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I think you can do better.

      Sure, for which of the 13 words do you more context to understand?

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  • IHeartBadCode@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I did in my first reply

    Look I get the knee jerk on hearing male. "Oh we're talking about masculinity, that's an attack on me." But the topic at hand is masculinity.

    Why are so many boys and men feeling alone and in the cold?

    Yes, toxic behaviors exists in both mainstream genders. Shallow ass women who play on male insecurities is a thing. BUT that's not the topic here. Like, you shoving the whole "but the other side" thing really comes like someone walking into a hospital being outraged they aren't going to do a quick dental clean while you're there. You're in the wrong place. There is such a place to go to, but it ain't here.

    I mean nothing but love for ya, but the knee jerk comes off a bit hard. Like we can have that discussion, but honest, I don't think this is the thread for it. It feels like it detracts from introspecting by way of blaming the other team. I'm not downvoting you, I get where you're coming from. But I just feel it's distraction.

    And that is my opinion on the matter and nothing more.

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    • SwingingKoala@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      you shoving the whole “but the other side”

      You entirely miss the important point here. It’s not about “muh other side”. It’s about sending young boys the message “toxic masculinity” over and over while they grow up and are trying to explore what masculinity means to them. Sure, if you give them a seminar on what “toxic masculinity” is supposed to mean every time you use the term, some of them might understand what you’re trying to say, but that’s not what’s happening. And every time a young boy questions the term in confusion he will be attacked “but the other side” yadda is not valid like you just did to me.

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      • IHeartBadCode@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        It’s about sending young boys the message “toxic masculinity” over and over while they grow up and are trying to explore what masculinity means to them

        Is that what you think the point of the discussion here is? What you're saying is valid but that's not this setting. I think that's the aspect that might be getting lost with what I'm saying. I'm not discounting what your saying, what I'm indicating is that "your argument, completely valid in general. But are we not speaking specifically of this thread?"

        It's one of those things of, do you want to speak in general or in specific terms? In general yeah, we cannot just toss the term toxic masculinity all over the place with zero context. That's just going to confuse people. BUT…

        Men need feminism too. Patriarchy and toxic masculinity harm both men and women in different ways

        The starting of this thread is examining a specific topic among the many and it feels like you want to interject a side topic for fear that someone here might get confused about the specifics of "toxic masculinity" and what the background of that is. We're adults here and I think it's safe to look at what the original comment was getting at without diving head first into what (to me and that may be different for you so I acknowledge that) feels like splitting hairs.

        And every time a young boy questions the term in confusion he will be attacked “but the other side” yadda is not valid like you just did to me

        Well. Are you a young boy? Are you confused about the term? And that's the crux of what I am putting forward. And it isn't in honesty an attack on you or at least wasn't meant to be. We can talk "in general" about a hypothetical young boy, or we can be "specific" and address what you are and are not confused by. But we ought to avoid strafing between the two loosely because that's going to be distracting in best light.

        So I hope you understand when you have:

        And every time a young boy questions the term in confusion he will be attacked “but the other side” yadda

        and:

        is not valid like you just did to me

        Is taking the context of that first statement and attempting to apply it to the context of the second statement where the context of these two things are different altogether. "But the other side" yadda is dismissive in the first context and pointing out distraction in the second. We can use similar sounding statements in varied context to convey different ideas.

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