Smeagol666

@Smeagol666@crazypeople.online

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Experts disagree⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago⁩:

  Santa is the most communist of communists; giving gifts to all children just for being “good”.

  This is how I started questioning the existence of Santa, even kids I knew were little bastards got all the good gifts.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Trump's video on the shooting of Kirk appears to be AI⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  My thoughts exactly. Yo-semite.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Check yourself before you rex yourself⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  When they make the movie The Time Traveler’s Dino, will it be animated or CGI?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨5 tomatoes⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I remember reading this quote a few years ago (probably Reddit), but I don’t remember if attribution was given. Kudos to you CAVOK.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨does the new employee eventually stop being the one given the most tasks?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  One place I worked at was my 3rd or 4th print shop. Years ago, to save money on production costs, we would have to “gum the plates”. This involved cleaning and then “gumming” sets of used plates so they could be reused later. Once while at the plated gumming station I was gumming a set of six plates we had used to print a 6-color job. I was a helper on the six-color, but two color presses only had one man crews. One guy pipes up and tells me: “Hey, new guys have to gum all our plates.”

  “Yeah? Bite me!”

  “No, really!” this dickhead said.

  “No, really!” I answered while grabbing my crotch in the universal gesture of disrespect.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Name this minivan⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Gatormobile. I can easily imagine the owner supplementing his income by poaching alligators in Florida or Louisiana.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨digital sovereignty and you⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  “Now give me back my rights, you baldy bastard!”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨My favorite board game!⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  My dipfuck younger brother once stuck some chicken wire in an outlet, and scared the shit out of himself. I had acquired the chicken wire in order to make a turtle trap, that ended up working too well.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's weird that we "take a shit". I don't know what other people are doing, but i definitely leave a shit, not take it⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I wasn’t, fuck Jerry Seinfeld. www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxyw38tODKg

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's weird that we "take a shit". I don't know what other people are doing, but i definitely leave a shit, not take it⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Seinfeld isn’t that funny. This was a Carlin joke.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Tesla sales plunge 40% in Europe as Chinese EV rival BYD's triple⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  What if you could use a baseball bat? Maybe with nails in it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Don’t I know it! I’m diabetic.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Peanuts are legumes which means that peanut butter is basically sweetened bean dip.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Heartwarming⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Right? Every fucking idiotic story on “mainstream media” about some Girlscout selling enough cookies so her mother can get a kidney transplant makes me want to fucking vomit. I have no hope for this shithole of a country we live in.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨PS5 may get more price increases in the US, analyst warns⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  They can keep the fucking thing with all of these dogshit “AAA” games that come out half baked and/or dark pattern tricks to try and fuck you out of even more money. I’m glad I never bothered with Diablo 4 or POE 2.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Bring out the trumpets and pour out the beer⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  We need more Louis Gs.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why are they even doing this, the grass wasn't even that tall⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I feel you brother. Nobody respects the idea that night shifters need sleep too. I met my gf over 20 years ago. We worked together on night shift, so she understood the trials and tribulations of night shift workers. She became disabled soon after, and no longer worked. About 10 years ago I was asleep, and was awakened by BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, in the kitchen. I get up to see what the fuck was going on. She’s standing at the counter trying to open a jar of pickles by smacking the lid on said counter. I must have cussed her out for five straight minutes. “Did you really need some fucking pickles that goddam bad?” and "goddammit woman, you know better, " were among the choice phrases I had for her.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Checkmate Atheists!⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Taking turns getting pineapple enemas with Ronald Reagan. Fuck the Gipper.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Fun fact⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Signed, Tyler Durden.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Upvotes and downvotes are public information on Lemmy⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  To be clear, I’m not against the Ukraine people, just their corrupt fascist government, just like us (the U.S.).

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Upvotes and downvotes are public information on Lemmy⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I got kicked off of Reddit for saying “fuck Ukraine” when some little bundle of twigs said they liked a certain Van Gogh painting because “it matches the color of the Ukraine flag”. That was in r/museum, where you’d think there wouldn’t be much political horseshit.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨YSK that despite being outside of US jurisdiction, Lego has dropped diversity and inclusion terminology from its annual report⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Give it a couple more years and they’ll be making Noah’s Ark and Golgotha play sets. Oligarchs have no shame about virtue signaling to whoever holds the brass ring.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Upvotes and downvotes are public information on Lemmy⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Are you sure about that? Reddit is a fucking cesspool.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What anime has the best worldbuilding?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Cowboy Bebop and Full Metal Alchemist, but I’m old so take that with a grain of salt.