Smeagol666
@Smeagol666@crazypeople.online
- Comment on Fail as you try to act sophisticated 4 days ago:
Rimmer, you silly fucker.
- Comment on Palantir declares itself the guardian of Americans' rights 6 days ago:
The Reptile is an anagram of Peter Thiel.
- Comment on Thanks 🙏🏻 2 weeks ago:
I don’t know nothing about nothing.
- Comment on It’s a beautiful morning! 3 weeks ago:
I know, right? Nothing like a huge dump of adrenaline caused by the unmitigated rage you get from seeing the huge pile of shit left by the previous shift. Better than caffeine to wake you up.
- Comment on Everybody: If There Was a Meme Museum, What Meme(s) Would You Put In It? (down below) 3 weeks ago:
Success Kid, Disaster Girl and Grumpy Cat. Same rules apply as AFV: kids and pets win every time.
- Comment on Amazon is forcibly upgrading Prime members to Alexa Plus, and users are not happy 4 weeks ago:
My Amazon Fire that I’ve had for ten years finally bricked itself. I’m positive they did it on purpose. I only paid $100 for it, so I guess I still got my money’s worth out of it.
- Comment on really makes you think 4 weeks ago:
Maybe that’s why they used to call it “hydrophobia”.
- Comment on really makes you think 4 weeks ago:
I moved from Nebraska to North Carolina 20 years ago and still haven’t adjusted to the nasty taste of chlorinated water. I guess it’s better than getting cholera or e. coli.
- Comment on Do you have to deal with this during your morning commute? 4 weeks ago:
Having been a 2nd and 3rd shifter most of my adult life, I miss going shopping in the middle of the night when hardly anyone was there.
- Comment on Sensory issues 2 months ago:
Yeah, fuck that. I tear out tags, or cut them off. Some t-shirts actually come tag-less or put the tag at the bottom.
The older I get (I’m 54) I find the less tolerance I have for bullshit.
- Comment on Definitely spongeworthy 2 months ago:
I love a good Clerks reference, here’s some Lemmy Silver {S}.
- Comment on 3-bean soup 3 months ago:
I came here for this.
- Comment on And what car did you learn in? 3 months ago:
My first car was a '73 VW Super Beetle.
- Comment on "Pro-life" and "pro-choice" aren't actually opposite positions 4 months ago:
Have you ever seen the indy movie Citizen Ruth with Laura Dern? I actually knew the guy who played her meth-head boyfriend, and the fat-ass biker escort later on in the movie.
- Comment on Experts disagree 4 months ago:
Santa is the most communist of communists; giving gifts to all children just for being “good”.
This is how I started questioning the existence of Santa, even kids I knew were little bastards got all the good gifts.
- Comment on Trump's video on the shooting of Kirk appears to be AI 4 months ago:
My thoughts exactly. Yo-semite.
- Comment on Check yourself before you rex yourself 5 months ago:
When they make the movie The Time Traveler’s Dino, will it be animated or CGI?
- Comment on 5 tomatoes 5 months ago:
I remember reading this quote a few years ago (probably Reddit), but I don’t remember if attribution was given. Kudos to you CAVOK.
- Comment on does the new employee eventually stop being the one given the most tasks? 5 months ago:
One place I worked at was my 3rd or 4th print shop. Years ago, to save money on production costs, we would have to “gum the plates”. This involved cleaning and then “gumming” sets of used plates so they could be reused later. Once while at the plated gumming station I was gumming a set of six plates we had used to print a 6-color job. I was a helper on the six-color, but two color presses only had one man crews. One guy pipes up and tells me: “Hey, new guys have to gum all our plates.”
“Yeah? Bite me!”
“No, really!” this dickhead said.
“No, really!” I answered while grabbing my crotch in the universal gesture of disrespect.
- Comment on Name this minivan 5 months ago:
Gatormobile. I can easily imagine the owner supplementing his income by poaching alligators in Florida or Louisiana.
- Comment on digital sovereignty and you 5 months ago:
“Now give me back my rights, you baldy bastard!”
- Comment on My favorite board game! 5 months ago:
My dipfuck younger brother once stuck some chicken wire in an outlet, and scared the shit out of himself. I had acquired the chicken wire in order to make a turtle trap, that ended up working too well.
- Comment on It's weird that we "take a shit". I don't know what other people are doing, but i definitely leave a shit, not take it 5 months ago:
I wasn’t, fuck Jerry Seinfeld. www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxyw38tODKg
- Comment on It's weird that we "take a shit". I don't know what other people are doing, but i definitely leave a shit, not take it 5 months ago:
Seinfeld isn’t that funny. This was a Carlin joke.
- Comment on Tesla sales plunge 40% in Europe as Chinese EV rival BYD's triple 5 months ago:
What if you could use a baseball bat? Maybe with nails in it.
- Comment on [deleted] 5 months ago:
Don’t I know it! I’m diabetic.
- Comment on [deleted] 5 months ago:
Peanuts are legumes which means that peanut butter is basically sweetened bean dip.
- Comment on Heartwarming 5 months ago:
Right? Every fucking idiotic story on “mainstream media” about some Girlscout selling enough cookies so her mother can get a kidney transplant makes me want to fucking vomit. I have no hope for this shithole of a country we live in.
- Comment on PS5 may get more price increases in the US, analyst warns 5 months ago:
They can keep the fucking thing with all of these dogshit “AAA” games that come out half baked and/or dark pattern tricks to try and fuck you out of even more money. I’m glad I never bothered with Diablo 4 or POE 2.
- Comment on Bring out the trumpets and pour out the beer 5 months ago:
We need more Louis Gs.