fartographer
@fartographer@lemmy.world
- Comment on Microsoft finally admits almost all major Windows 11 core features are broken 1 hour ago:
Quit laying blame on my fart
My fart…
My fart.
I should have known I did shart
- Comment on Microsoft finally admits almost all major Windows 11 core features are broken 2 hours ago:
What didn’t Microsoft steal?
- Comment on Radon 3 hours ago:
I know you are, but what I am too, also.
- Comment on Had to look this up 2 days ago:
Like this -pantomimes packing-
- Comment on Also the day that the world found out that Hitler had a micropenis. 6 days ago:
That’s a gross over generalization. I’m plenty ashamed of myself!
- Comment on The Confederacy (or whatever) 1 week ago:
Maybe we should kiss
- Comment on iPhone Pocket: $229.95 1 week ago:
That’s Apple’s style. It’s their artistic way of telling you that you’re only as valuable as the products you buy.
- Comment on iPhone Pocket: $229.95 1 week ago:
When stretched, the open textile subtly reveals its contents and allows users to peek at their iPhone display. iPhone Pocket can be worn in a variety of ways — handheld, tied onto bags, or worn directly on the body.
“Subtly” digging around your shoulder-holstered tube sock.
They forgot to mention that you can also use it as the world’s most expensive roll of quarters.
- Comment on Palantir CEO Says a Surveillance State Is Preferable to China Winning the AI Race 1 week ago:
Hot take from Tech Bro Bevis
- Comment on A hypothesis 2 weeks ago:
I started on Mac, went to Windows, then Linux, then ChromeOS, and now back to Linux and Mac for work. I work as a web dev and my contribution to my team is my extreme ADHD
- Comment on Her mango 2 weeks ago:
Did you hear that joke from an eggplant, cuz it’s baingan
- Comment on Austrian Ministry Kicks Out Microsoft in Favor of Nextcloud 3 weeks ago:
Jitsi rocks my bitsies
- Comment on AI behavioral analysis on factory workers, every step is monitored including attention detection from facial expressions 4 weeks ago:
Wear a mask of your own face looking super attentive and sleep at your machine
- Comment on It's just a fancy new name for a lobotomy 4 weeks ago:
That doctor is one achoo away from an eyepatch
- Comment on snail lyfe 4 weeks ago:
Don’t fucking compare yourself to snails unless you can stab your lovers with spears from your own body.
At best, you’re a clown fish or a frog.
- Comment on From the outside looking in 4 weeks ago:
I’ll show me!!!
- Comment on Another WSJ banger about why the poors aren't doing more 4 weeks ago:
I didn’t skip my loan payment, I bypassed it. You’ve made me bypass numerous meals over the years.
- Comment on I present: Torum! A crappy yet functional bearbones selfhosted forum site for termux. 4 weeks ago:
You don’t source them, you host them
- Comment on I need someone to help me identify this shark plz. Spotted in the wild. Maybe a new species. 5 weeks ago:
The eyes appear to be coming from their nostrils. I waiver what evolutionary pressures squeezed their eyes out their nose.
- Comment on eco-vengeance iconoclast 5 weeks ago:
We have them in Texas. They’ll eat your pets and maim you. They’re also significantly smarter than many people realize. If they weren’t such indiscriminate terrors, they’d probably make for pretty fun pets or be fun to watch play together while out on walks.
- Comment on fuck gary 5 weeks ago:
F-heart-ck… Fheartck… Fartck… Fart attack? Oh, poor Gary died from a fart attack…
- Comment on tiny tot engineering 5 weeks ago:
I remember one kid saying he was going to attach razor blades or sharpen the fins on his Beyblade. I also remember seeing him crying the nurse’s office the next day with his hand bandaged.
- Comment on …and I’m a bad boy for breaking a fart 5 weeks ago:
Took me a moment. Got it. Nodded in recognition.
- Comment on Republican? Democrat? There is a third option: 5 weeks ago:
It’s just another party run by old white men
- Comment on Jeep pushed software update that bricked all 2024 Wrangler 4xe models 5 weeks ago:
Oh, hahaha, sorry. The asterisk in front of the “simply” was meant to reference some fake fine print. I totally forgot to add that, so congratulations! You’ve unlocked the hidden fine print!
^*Process description does not include all necessary steps to make motor or car functional. Commenter assumes no responsibility and should not be considered as a reliable source of information.^
- Comment on Jeep pushed software update that bricked all 2024 Wrangler 4xe models 5 weeks ago:
I almost did something like this for my 1995 Exploder. Y’know how you can buy a crate engine and then *simply drop in a new engine? There are some companies that make electric motors that interface with your transmission and now you have an old vehicle with a new motor!
Before I could make any major decisions like that, though, one of my neighbor’s told me that his friend had been looking for that exact same year and color Explorer after she lost her car in a flood, so I gave it to her. I never really got too far in my research, so I don’t know much about the real cost and extent of work involved in these electric crate engines.
- Comment on Organization. 1 month ago:
Fix the VQ and then finish arranging everything alphanumeric, starting with punctuation alphabetized and the numbers starting with zero.
- Comment on The Earth is reflecting less and less sunlight, study reveals 1 month ago:
Dark colored yachts
- Comment on Who's branded? Sound off 1 month ago:
I remember my sister and me tossing the middle buckle back and forth and then swinging it at each other until one of us got hit by a plastic-accented mace and then we both would cry. We never learned to stop doing that.
- Comment on Perfect little cup hiding in a log 1 month ago:
Tickle tickle
^ Please don’t tickle people who didn’t specify that they wanted to be tickled^