Submitted 1 year ago by return2ozma@lemmy.world to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
Even with a good career and all the “adult milestones” I don’t feel like an actual adult. I feel like I’m pretending to know what I’m doing. Anyone else experience this?
I don’t feel like I know what I’m doing but I do feel like an adult. The two are a bit separate in my head.
It’s like the horizon of ignorance in science. The more you know, the more you know you don’t know.
Define Adult.
My personal definition is “A child with responsibilities”
This means you don’t have to feel like an adult to be one.
If you really look past the facade of humanity, that’s really all we are.
And my definition of a teenager is really just “A hormonal child”
Lastly a manchild is “An adult that shirks and refuses to act like he has responsibilities, while also whining about them”
I’m in my 40s and married with a kid and I’ll be the first to admit that I’m winging it. We’re all just that same little kid we were but in an adult body trying to figure out the world. I did get called sir by a younger co-worker and I made them swear to never say it again. Just call me dude or something lol
Funnily enough, I do feel like an adult, mostly because I’ve been aware enough for long enough that everyone else is making it up as they go, that I can sense when people are on their bullshit and navigate it pretty effectively.
Also I’m making a lot of decisions that will hopefully insulate me from the consequences of my inevitable failure, but I hold no delusions that the safety net will ever be perfect or even good, or that some arbitrary amount of austerity would have bought me a house at this point, so I don’t starve myself of the little pleasures in the moment - today is the rainy day. I use my PTO, I get a little treat every once in a while, and I make myself as comfortable as I can. My life satisfaction has increased drastically with that in mind.
I was challenged about this subject not too long ago and thought a lot about how do I define adult? In my analysis and perspective, what adult really means in a meaningful applicable way is:
I think that is why the feeling of the title is so widely experienced. Fortunately, the basis for this is not you, per se, it’s how we got here as a collective. In my estimation we are encourage not to be in charge of our own lives.
There is bravery in facing ugly truths and thus begets for seed for growing. It is actually neccessay. Hang in there, perservere, you are magical!
“Adversity of the diamond dust Heaven polishes its jewels with”
“Adversity builds muscle, adversity builds strength. Adversity, it turns out, is preparation for success”
I’ve always thought the measure of being an adult is when you being to like mustard.
Which kind of mustard? I can do French, Whole Grain, and squeezy but get English mustard away from me.
i stopped growing at around 24 years of age
Feeling like an actual adult is feeling the way you always have, but going to bed earlier and waking up with a pressing need to pee, but having to oil your joints like the tin man before you can move.
And your favorite brand of [insert here] was discontinued last year adding to the growing list of permanent minor dissapointments.
I feel called-out.
I work in a school. I mostly talk like one and people bought it. The kids…they know…
All, the, fucking, time.
I am constantly doing things that make me feel more adult. Like at some point I will have done enough of these things to be an actual adult.
I feel like an adult. I’m in my 30s. But i got to make my own definition of adult. Really it’s not so much not feeling like an adult, it’s realizing none of the adults really know what they are doing.
I sure don’t, constantly feel like I’m driving a car with feet that don’t touch the pedals. Luckily I’ve got one hell of a community around me, and although the town’s nickname is Shitshow USA we seem to make it work.
Solid NO, I'm over 35 too...
I’d it wasn’t for my passport - and some aches and pains - I’d still think I’m 15.
I don’t. I’m 29 but I feel like I’m 18~19. Doesn’t help that I still look like I’m in my early/mid-20s, so I can’t even look in the mirror and remember my age.
I suspect that feeling like an adult is what happens when you start to be less creative over time and get used to it.
I’m not even taking pretending that seriously: if I got busted as a swindle of an adult, I would be like it be like that sometimes
As an ADHD-riddled depressed mess who can hardly function at all? No.
I sort of feel like an adult, in that I have a job I care about, a mortgage, a partner, responsibilities. I think the change happened when I lost my entire safety net when my parents passed away. If I don’t take care of myself, it’s right back to the streets. That kind of looming danger makes a person feel “grown up” pretty quick.
But at the same time, I don’t feel adult enough to want to start a family or have any optional responsibilities. I just get through the grind to feel stable and play videogames, which is probably a childish mindset.
Mid 30s for reference.
I think the issue is people equate “feeling adult” with feeling confident, responsible, agential, nomic, or otherwise whole. When in reality the only assurance is that you’ll get older.
lol this is literally a repost of the ycombinator question from earlier today
That’s okay. As long as the replies here are not reposts of the replies there.
l_b_i@yiffit.net 1 year ago
I stopped getting older after graduating college.