Even with a good career and all the “adult milestones” I don’t feel like an actual adult. I feel like I’m pretending to know what I’m doing. Anyone else experience this?
Nope. Not at all. I have just a vague Idea what Im doing.
Does anyone feel like an actual adult?
Submitted 1 year ago by return2ozma@lemmy.world to nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
Comments
Roflmasterbigpimp@lemmy.world 1 year ago
troglodytis@lemmy.world 1 year ago
This question is what an adult feels like.
DJKJuicy@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
Yup. The realization that we’re all just making it up as we go is when it happens. Welcome to adulting.
BassaForte@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Hell no. I’m 29 with my own house, six-figure job, and 3 cars and I don’t feel like an adult lol. But also no kids nor desire to have kids will do that
Evotech@lemmy.world 1 year ago
We are all just winding it.
The only thing you are is you. You are not “something”. You will always just feel like you.
oshitwaddup@lemmy.antemeridiem.xyz 1 year ago
Idk, I feel like an adult. That’s not to say I have everything figured out, but I’ve thought a lot about who I want to be, have done (and continue to do) a lot to get closer to being that person and keep growing, and I’ve successfully navigated a variety of situations and feel confident in my ability to handle unexpected circumstances going forward. I also have a lot of autonomy and when I want something I can usually figure it out or make it happen
Not trying to brag, this probably comes across that way but idk how else to put it 😅
EmoDuck@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
Sometimes when I’m hanging my laundry. God, that makes me feels so adulty
Spzi@lemm.ee 1 year ago
I feel like I’m pretending to know what I’m doing.
I guess that explains the observation. As kids, we’re fooled by the pretenders. So we grow up with this expectation.
intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 year ago
I feel like an actual adult when I achieve milestones of my own character.
Any kid can be dragged through the external milestones of an adult life. But a kid cannot experience the milestones of adult character development, because those are the things that define adulthood.
For example yesterday toward the end of my work day, I had the opportunity to just coast through the last hour. It’s a skill I’ve developed, so I know I can do it. But instead I pushed myself to get more done and keep what promises I could to my customers, despite not feeling like it. That is the kind of thing that makes me feel like an adult. No amount of having experienced relationships, earning, owning, or exposure to death and suffering does it to me. But pushing myself to fulfill my duty despite not feeling like it, makes me feel like an actual adult.
JackbyDev@programming.dev 1 year ago
I started feeling like an adult when I was 28. Throughout my 20s the thought came up every so often but I distinctly remember the first time it happened and I really did feel like an adult was when I was 28.
MonsiuerPatEBrown@reddthat.com 1 year ago
Yes but it is because of the pile of loss i have sustained thus far.
it is not get a job or have a kid: it is sustain previously unimaginable loss yet keep going. that is the feeling of adult to me.
Drusas@kbin.social 1 year ago
Yeah. Life is almost exclusively chores and dealing with bureaucracy. Can't get much more adult than that.
BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 year ago
Only when I land slightly wrong or too hard and think my knees are about to explode
Oh, and the forced grunt every time I stand up
chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 year ago
Yeah kinda. To me being a kid is all about the feeling of things not being up to you, you don’t make the real decisions and the ones you do get to make are inconsequential. The past doesn’t weigh on you and the future is a wide open mystery. Doesn’t feel like that anymore.
RickRussell_CA@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Relevant SMBC:
xtremeownage@lemmyonline.com 1 year ago
Nope.
Still just feel like a kid, with extra responsibilities, while raising my own kids. Guess sometime around 50 or so i’ll start feeling like an “adult”
Although, at least I call myself a dumbass, after doing something stupid, or wasting money on crap.
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 1 year ago
People who act like adults are merely pretending.
EvilCartyen@feddit.dk 1 year ago
Sure. I mean, I am a adult. I never thought adults had things figured out when I was a kid either, seemed pretty obvious they were just trying their best with what they had to work with.
Goodie@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Feel like? Maybe not. Accepted? Maybe.
More often than not now, I find myself having to be the adult in the room. My father recently died, and while my parents both have wills sorted, they didn’t have other things like power of attorney sorted, or a real discussion of what his funeral arrangements he would like. It was not a sudden death. That was a turning point for me.
I guess that’s where I’m at, I’ve accepted I’m an adult. I’m losing backstops, but also becoming other people’s backstop.
OfficeMonkey@lemmy.today 1 year ago
Every time I have to confiscate the book my kid is reading after lights out I feel like an adult.
The rest of the time… fuck no.
(They get it back in the morning – I’m not a monster!)
c0mpost@lemmy.eco.br 1 year ago
I had to borrow money from the bank this year to buy a car. That made me feel too adult and kind of drove me into a crisis.
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 1 year ago
If you think that’s bad, look at the shit you gotta do for a house.
Munkisquisher@lemmy.nz 1 year ago
It’s being at home with my PlayStation and my own music and all my silly purchases that makes me feel most like a child.
Funnily enough it’s travelling when I feel like an adult.
GrayBackgroundMusic@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Yeah, but only because my joints hurt if I do anything remotely exertion related. It’s less that I feel like an adult, more like I feel old.
vsg@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I’m 27 and sometimes I don’t feel like an adult. I don’t have a job, I live with my parents (even though it’s not as taboo here in my country), and I feel more like an older brother to my nephew instead of the uncle I really am.
Dazza@lemmy.world 1 year ago
When you don’t live with your parents that’s when you feel like an adult as you don’t have that safety net you’ve been given since birth.
Touching_Grass@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I’m middle aged and play video games and even do a lot of atudd like HTB as if I’m 20 about to embark on a new career path
Damaskox@kbin.social 1 year ago
Depends on the point of view I'd say.
- I pay bills
- I deal with requirements and assumptions the society puts on me as a grown-up citizen who brings better tomorrow closer through hard work
- I deal with hardships of my life through thinking, writing about them, cooperation, diplomacy, listening and discussing even difficult topics - also within my relationships
- I embrace the consequences that my actions may bring
- I try to rationalize my thoughts of the world
- i try to be a decent example to kids and other folks
.
- I'm goofy, playful and childlike (you should see my behavior with my girlfriend)!
- I enjoy small, "nonsense" things and they cheer me easily up
- I'm generally relaxed of life
- I get easily (over-)excited
- I am an energetic person
- People assume I'm younger via my habitus
.
So I guess I am and am not, in certain ways.
drahardja@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Yeah, I do. I got bills to pay, mouths to feed, a job to go to, joints that hurt…yep. I event grunt when I get up.
I guess I was never under the impression that any adult actually knew what they were doing, even when I was younger, so I wasn’t surprised that I am still constantly improvising. This is the natural state of living. You’re either learning and improving, or you’re becoming obsolete and decaying. This is true whether or not you’re an adult.
Diplomjodler@feddit.de 1 year ago
The feeling that you have no idea what you’re doing and just winging it is the most adult thing ever.
DJKJuicy@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
This is it. Paying bills? Nah. Owning property? Nope. The realization that there’s no such thing as an “adult”. BOOM. Now you’re an adult.
YoBuckStopsHere@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I make okay money in my forties, was able to put a large some down on a reasonable new car to keep monthly payments low. Also my back hurts if I sit too long. So, yes.
lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 year ago
There are tasks and chores my parents used to do on my behalf that I now do myself, like making money, paying taxes, handling health insurance, etc. I guess those make me feel like an adult.
But then there are milestones I thought I would have hit by now that I have not, mainly concerning family life. No kids, no partner, nobody to take care of but myself. If I wanna go out and party, or stay in and play video games all weekend, there’s not really much to stop me. That makes me feel immature.
psion1369@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I’m 42. I have blue hair, watch cartoons, play board games, wear novelty shirts, no I am not an adult. Until I have to be.
Phlogiston@lemmy.world 1 year ago
sadly this is what i means to be an adult. we know when ‘i don’t want to’ becomes ‘i have to’. :(
forrgott@lemm.ee 1 year ago
You sound fun! I’m same age. When I was like, less than five years old, I decided grown ups are just people who think they’ve learned enough. Therefore, I vowed to never grow up!
thetokenlady@midwest.social 1 year ago
I’m 59 going on 12. I have purple in my hair and a combined 15 piercings between my ears and my nose. The piercings started after I turned 50 except for the original 2 that I got when I was a teenager. I’m considering either a 3rd tattoo or a nipple piercing, can’t decide which.
You’re only as old as you feel.