I feel like my depression and overwhelm is shifting a lot into the territory of “high functioning depression”.
I am bringing my very best self to work, I am seeing friends regularly.

But there is a pressure I cannot name, a heaviness in my bones that makes getting up seem like an unsurmountable mountain of a task.

And worst of all, I have lost several of my safe foods. I just spend 3 hours preparing one of my favourite foods. It’s super tasty, but somehow the texture is off. I cannot eat more than a fee bites. I tried several of my safe foods in the last two weeks and I could not finish a single one of them, no matter how hungry I had been.

It’s a devastating feeling to loose safe food.

It’s a disruption of routine, it feels wrong and there is no simple fix for it. I am tired. I am sad. I am hungry but also not. I feel wrong because everything else feels wrong.

“Single ingredient” things so far have proven easiest to eat. I don’t know what to do. I do not have the energy to pivot after i made something.

I am so tired.

#actuallyautistic #actuallyaudhd #safefood
@actuallyadhd @autistics