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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/hey-bby on 2023-09-18 06:44:24.

I (22F) live with 6 roommates who were my closest college friends. EM and I are the only ones in a relationship. I’ve been with my bf for 3 years but atm we’re long-distance (6 hour flight away). Everyone else has never been in a relationship (not religious tho).

We moved in together last year; we all have private rooms and I have a private bathroom. We all had agreed on guest policies before signing the lease.

One year in, my roommates start getting bitter that EM and I have our boyfriends over. They limited our guests to twice a month even if it’s for 1 hour (with 2 day notice) and they want us to coordinate our bfs so they don’t feel like there’s too much male presence (even tho they agreed that my bf was okay to visit before signing the lease).

I’m very okay with respecting boundaries and sticking to house rules. However, I start having a problem when they don’t respect their own rules.

  • They have female and some male friends over all the time without any notice. They don’t wait for permission.
  • When EM and I ask for permission (I ask MONTHS in advance) no one responds in the gc, then they blame us and say we didn’t wait for permission (even tho its days and no response)
  • They call us out on smallest mess (one drop of oil on the stove), but they never cleanup and our living room is a mess. 2 of them smoke and their ground weed is all over the table for weeks.
  • They stay up until 3am almost every night even on school/exam days.
  • They blame me and EM for not hanging out but when we make plans, they skip it out last minute.
  • I asked 4 months in advance if my bf can stay over for 3 days in my room. They said yes but a year later, they said they didn’t like having guys in the house and referred to my bf staying for 3 days. Idk why they said okay but held on resentment. Me and my bf are always out, dont make a mess.

Basically, EM and I agreed that it seems like they’re blaming us on everything and taking out their stress on us. We’re always willing to compromise but they always think they’re in the right and not willing to compromise.

EM and I decided to move out within the next 2 months. Our lease is month to month so no problem there.

However, our roommates are calling us the AS since they have to find new roommates now (but doesn’t affect anyone’s rent). They’re tryna guilt us since we’re “friends.”