Recently I have seen a bunch of discussions around trans men being largely invisible within the community. Some trans men want to be invisible and simply live their lives unnoticed, which is perfectly valid.
Other trans men want to be recognised as part of the LGBT+ community, which is equally valid. I won’t pitch one against the other because everybody has their own background and challenges that come with it. But as a trans man, I want to add my two cents to the conversation.

I started my social transition at 33/34 years of age, during a toxic relationship which I could no longer prioritise over my quality of life. I could no longer walk around masquerading as a woman. At the time I wasn’t deep into the topics and conversations and the community. I simply needed to begin living as my true self.
I started hormones at the beginning of the Covid19 pandemic and had my top surgery as the pandemic began to wind down.
When I started to transition I noticed that there is more visibility on trans women but it didn’t bother me. Over all education was and still is lacking and at the time I thought, I already work in training, I have a strong sense of justice, I might as well do some education around trans topics. So I started doing workshops in corporate environments. They landed very well btw.
As I went through the stages of transition that felt right for me, I noticed that here in Ireland, the information is super fragmented and unless you know where to look, you won’t find the information easily. So I created my own website as a place that just has all the info you might be looking for, linking out to the actual sources but having everything in one place. The feedback I got was very positive. Teni reached out a couple times when information was outdated so I could be aware and fix it. Thank you TENI for that! I also started my own youtube, just to document my journey. ADHD has prohibited me from making regular updates lol but I am trying.

Over the years, the better I passed, the more I noticed that trans men are just not a topic of discussion. All the anti trans bills evolve around trans women, painting them as sexual deviants and predators, as men pretending to be women. Putting not only trans women in danger but also masc presenting cis women, as well as trans men. What politicians forget, when using trans people as political pawns and distractions from actual issues, is that they are targetting hate to more than their chosen group. They are endangering everybody else that they are too ignorant to educate themselves about or too up their own asses to care about.

I am a trans man, do you realllllly want me to go into the women’s bathroom because I was born with a vagina? Are you sure about that? Because I don’t think you want some bearded dude, that looks entirely cis passing male, in the women’s bathroom. But here we are with those bathroom bills going around. Even better, are you sure you want me on the women’s sport teams? Technically speaking, with the Testosterone in my body, I could be - if I trained and was fit - at a huge advantage over the cis women.

And when I am saying I am entirely cis passing, my GP or all people, asked me about my penis when I had a urinary tract infection because she forgot for a moment AND occasionally my best friend even forgets. And those are people who very definitely know that I am trans. I am not pointing that out to complain, I am pointing that out to open eyes. I am perfectly happy being read male all of the time but at the same time, I think it is valid to want both the medical community as well as politicians to be educated a tad better about the fact that trans men exist. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

So yes, I would love to be included in discussions that are literally about me, while at the same time just living my life without being questioned about my very existence. I am glad I can walk around the street without being clocked while at the same time wanting to be at the very least acknowledged when decisions are made which impact my health and safety.

Thanks for reading my ramblings.