One time my cousin Walter got this car stuck in his ass, true story. He bought it at our local mall so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all, but the next week he did it again! Different cat, same results complete with another trip to the emergency room. So I run into him a week later at the mall and he’s buying another cat and I says to him Jesus Walt what are you doing? You know you’re just gonna get this cat stuck in your ass too, why don’t you knock it off! And he says to me “Thebeardedsinglemalt, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?”

My couson was a weird guy