But, critically, it’s not a fucking CAPACITIVE BUTTON, and I’ve never accidentally hit it once.

Yeah. I use resume a fair bit because you can set it to the speed you want and if your cruising gets interrupted by a slow truck or roadworks, or by passing through a town you can just press it and the car will accelerate back up to the set speed. Not like a rocket, maybe a couple of km/hr per second.

But still, like you say, easily-triggered capacitive buttons for critical functions, holy shit that is a bad idea.