Pyrosis did a great job answering a lot of your questions, I will focus again on why I cannot recommend plex:

Opt-In is not acceptable. You need to opt-out of: data sharing, data sharing with partners (unless you are in the UK or specific States), sharing playback data, stopping discovery together and activity feed, and turning off all of their live tv and streaming services.

Sharing streaming habits with others is not something that ever should have been opt-out. They keep pushing the line.

By the way, several of the “features” you mention are not included by default. Hardware decoding, downloads, DVR, etc.