Surely it will paint a picture to people who enjoys psychology and how it effects mindfulness so here goes my life story i guess, tldr is at the end.

First of all, I am not diagnosed with anything other than anxiety and depression so i can’t say that i have ADHD nor i am autistic, at least to some degree. But i felt clearly distressed whenever I tried to meditate to practice mindfulness instead of “having worries over small possibilities” and hereby said feck all this. Almost a year ago I am informed that If I feel uncomfortable I repeatedly t-t-t-t with my mouth. Apparently it is weird to my colleagues. So I imagined that has to be my answer to stress at my job and left at that. (My job is secure as it gets that I wish I could branch out but can not lol) Then today I saw this article and all that parts in my life clicked perfectly. Thanks me for being my own life coach today. If you read to this part thank you too!

Tldr: I just remembered that i am actually more stressed when trying to do nothing. I stim when I am stressed. I think this can be classified as active meditation. I can be wrong.