I didn’t say anything about cultural wars. I specifically avoided the issue in my example. Getting really upset because some wrote something is not a good thing for real life IMO, doesn’t matter who wrote what (provided it’s not news, of course). Part of a good society is the old adamant “I don’t agree with you at all but will defend your right to say it”.

We are constantly selling vulnerability as a gift, and I agree it’s important to be yourself and be able to show your emotions. what about people who know how to be vulnerable but not know how to be tough? Do you think that is healthy?

For instance (this happened to me) : you have a son and he breaks his arm, you are taking him to the hospital and he is crying and worried, he is only 8. You don’t know the extent of the injury, but it looks bad. You, as a parent, can calm him, even if you yourself are really scared. For me that is time to be tough. I can also show my vulnerability and tell the kid “I’m scared, I hope it is not anything serious” but in this case I find this showing of vulnerability a bit selfish, since you are adding to the kids angst.

As someone posted, being tough is not opposite of being vulnerable (that’s op’s fault, not mine) but if those are the options, sometimes it can be necessary to be tough.

By the way, I did cry once the kid was being taken cared of, and his sibling was with me in the car, and I explained to him that I was sad but confident everything would be ok.