perhaps something like a Sofabaton U2 would do well for you? you can put in a device preset for the shield and for your home devices plus anything else you need, but also pull a codeset for the hotel TV and swap it out as needed from their app when travelling. you rarely need exact model number matches, usually just something from the right era from the right manufacturer gets you all the commands you need. Add a Flirc USB to use IR on the shield with more control (or on shields without built in IR), you can use any IR codes then, and map keyboard macros and such, or use the sofabatons built in Bluetooth support for a native remote.

Nothing selfhostable in that regard, and most of the solutions that do exist are either terribly tedious, or rely on chinese server at some point.

Outside of that, i’m playing with an Astrion remote at home at the moment, which also uses Chinese servers, but you can block all of that and connect it directly to home assistant. it’s far from perfect and a lot of features are still in the development timeline, but they are keeping their word so far with version drops, and the majority of the code is public on their github. Hardly an option for travelling with though.