I know this is slightly irrelevant (?), but lately I’ve realized how many people consider childhood the happiest period in their lives. They argue that unlike adulthood, they didn’t have many responsibilities, didn’t worry about anything but occasional tests, and had their friends and family providing them with unconditional love. Meanwhile I got screamed at for even just getting B’s in school, had no friends for years because of being bullied by nearly the whole class, had to deal with a judgmental mother with an unpredictable temper, and a father who was mostly absent because of work and turned out to be a cheater. I mean, back then I didn’t realize how awful my family situation truly was, as an innocent, naïve child, but now there is no longer anything I want more than the autonomy and freedom of being an adult.

It is sad to think that I’ve missed out on a childhood that nearly everyone else enjoyed, and I am left craving a state of being that most people consider more painful than being a child.