Ooof. Jumping in to say im currently on an s9 that is dying and was thinking of going to the 23. Didnt even consider the notification light til seeing your post and some comments here.

There is an app (not mine) called aodnotify that only turns on the always on display under certain circumstances. Customizable kinda like different light colors were. This might help? I use it on my s9 but have no clue if its updated or compatible with newer phones.