Brb, I have decided to dunk my laptop in gasoline, and then throw it into the fireplace as hard as I can. This will make it run super fast and make me effective.

…

Hey guys. Guys! Listen up. I have something important to tell you all.

Ok. So…

This. Damaged. My. Laptop. Turns out the gasoline damaged its internals and the fire deformed it into a solid lump of badly-smelling plastic. The toxic fumes from the battery gave me permanent lung damage.

I know I KNOW it is easy to judge me in hindsight, but literally there was no way to know and I hope this warning helps you avoid doing the same understandable whoopsie I did.

Now, I have learned my lesson. For my next laptop I will use diesel instead.