Comment on Sometimes, childhood memories feel like faint memories from a past life.
Pinetten@pawb.social 1 day ago
Boy do I have news for you
www.hiddenbrain.org/…/did-that-really-happen/ www.nature.com/articles/s41562-023-01799-z
memories are recursive reconstructions. Memories of memories of memories and so on. Someone just posted this music video from björk the other day that illustrates it (and other things) pretty well.
While some memories (like traumatic ones) need addressing, it’s generally advisable to not dwell too much on the past. It tends to surprisingly easily get to a point where people convince themselves that the past was so much better/worse than it actually was.
Hmm, that seems kind of cynical, though. One’s life is one’s life, one’s memories are one’s memories, and the child is father of the man.
Sure, I get that embellishment / distortion can be a problem, but I’m talking about remembering facts & reality as best we can, as part of understanding one’s very identity.
For me it’s been highly useful, but for others… maybe not so much..?
The idea that what we recall is “reality” is itself a myth. Every reflection of an experience you do is just that: a reflection. It’s real in the same sense as a reflection on a mirror is real. Memory isn’t a static recording, it’s a reconstruction, shaped by every retelling, every emotional state, every new experience layered on top.
For me, this isn’t cynical at all, it’s liberating. Realizing that my past doesn’t have to define me, that it’s just an ever-degenerating narrative, was a relief. How I am in my body (even if it’s deterministic) has nothing to do with what I think or recall my past to be. People only call this cynical because we’re conditioned to believe we’re supposed to be some character with a fixed life story. Which is ironic, given how we’re also pressured to believe we’re never quite “good enough” as we are.
Think of it like a memory card game: even when you’re actively trying to remember where the matching pairs are, it’s difficult. Now, try memorizing every detail of how you experience your current surroundings, then leave the room and try to recall it. Unless your surroundings were exceptionally minimalistic, you’ll forget a crazy amount of it almost instantly (and hard sciences generally agree that the forgetting happens, they just disagree about the rate and amount of degeneration). So how sure can you be that memories from years ago are accurate? That doesn’t mean that you can’t cherish something from the past. Just be aware that at every recall, you probably remember a bit more of the memory of the memory, than the actual event. But you can cherish the thing that was worthy of cherishing during that time, as presumably you still cherish that thing.
And before some people get their knickers in a bunch, I have a diagnosis for C-PTSD. Meaning generally speaking, my nervous system functions in a way nervous systems subjected to extended adversity during childhood functions. There was a period where working through my narratives about the past was highly useful, and going to talk therapy about it was highly useful. I would never claim otherwise. But once I had dealt with that, I could start putting the narratives aside entirely. Because I happened to be called to get beyond just replacing the story about me as a victim of my past with another story about a survivor who overcame adversity. I’m not saying people “SHOULD” do that, but the option is there for those who WANT to do that. And the thing is, “the victim” often justifiably doesn’t want to do that. I wanted justice, revenge, validation, acknowledgement and all that. I held on to my stories about my past for dear life. I would’ve told the me writing this to go fuck right off. But once I had worked through the stories as much as I needed to, I wanted to let them go (because I happened to also be someone with a lot of curiosity about the nature of reality and holding on to believing what I wanted to believe was counterproductive to that). I could not have let go of the stories, if I hadn’t spent a considerable amount of time believing them.
And yes, I just spun a story about me for you. Or did that all really happen? Does it matter if it conveys something useful? Or does it just make you want to dismiss me as some tiresome armchair shrink who clearly needs better creative outlets than Lemmy.
Everything is a myth, when it comes down to it. And yes, yes– we thought ourselves oh-ho-ho clever when we were kids, spinning such bullshit out of wine, and vice-versa, but it didn’t take, nah.
It didn’t take for me and my own, particular group of Freakangels, mah dude.
Nah, at some point most of us agreed to do our best in terms of shared, honest, critical analysis and talking ‘straight-up,’ without your current level of ego-massaging bullshit, as you appear to be dipping heavily in to, here.
That said– good for you for exploring these things, as you appear to be doing. Rock on with that, and may the light persistently guide you. <3
Yep, everything you put into words is a myth. You can’t eat the word “apple”.
That’s honesty. That’s critical thinking. If you disagree, you can lick the screen where it says apple and tell yourself it’s exactly like tasting a real apple.
And it’s really not like I’m saying something outlandish. “Shared, honest, critical analysis” aka science agrees with me. I’m not the one arguing against it because “it feels cynical”.
Strider@lemmy.world 1 day ago
OK I can add to this. From own experience in two cases, if you are open to suggestions.
So, in psychology as I understand it positive memories outweigh negatives ones since for the average person negative memories get sort of padded and fade.
I’ve always wondered why people tend to go soft with negative experiences and the longer it has been the more harmless it was. I’ve seen this first hand on family and friends and partly had to remind close family what someone else did and when reminded they snapped back to their original attitude, so to say. But they would’ve forgotten the emotional impact.
So why has it always been so different for me? I found out I am an Autist and this seems to be one of the core differences. This imo also relates to why we don’t really forgive if certain thresholds have been crossed. And of course, the world view is far more negative due to the retained memories including emotional remembrance.
The second case is too much for one post, so let’s leave it at that for now.
Pinetten@pawb.social 1 day ago
Yeah I’ve seen it argued that people deeper in the spectrum have a strong sense of justice (for better or worse). Combined with the tendency to repeat patterns. Recipe for making certain memories very sticky. Still vulnerable to recursion though.
Strider@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Still human, of course 😁
Pinetten@pawb.social 1 day ago
Of course!