I think it comes from the fact that a lot of communities and projects use Discord basically like they would with IRC, with voice chats often not even existing in some servers. I have to assume the people who recommend Matrix are only ever in that kind of server.

I’m in 2 or 3 servers with different friend groups and of course each one is full of friends of friends of friends. Even the smallest is over 30 people, but I only regularly join VC with 3-4. If I had to call all of them to be in a voice call I would literally never do it.

Same goes for chats, in Matrix the closest things to channels and servers is rooms and spaces. The difference is that you don’t join a space, you just view rooms in the space and join them. Most of my servers have a ton of different channels for different things, I want to be able to see what happens in all of them without having to join each one, announcing to them that I’ve joined.

I like Matrix for FOSS project discussions, but I don’t think it’ll ever be the right pick for just hanging out with friends.