But seriously tho, it’s just depression, can’t sleep, hence this showerthought

Well… maybe. You’ve accidentally come up with something that actually exists, called Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder. And about half of people with DSPD have depression. 😬 (Also common in ADHDers.)

The circadian rhythms of people with DSPD are offset compared to people without it, so it is a bit like time zones in that respect. And if you try to “fight” it, by getting up early and holding down a 9-5 job, the effects are often compared to jet lag.