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Comment on You have to be married to have a mother-in-law or father-in-law but you don't have to be married to have a brother-in-law or sister-in-law

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Rhaedas@fedia.io ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

Some places are like that, and it makes sense. Others do not, and if there isn't some formal paper connecting the two then they don't get the benefits or penalties of making such commitment. I have a relative that lost their home of 35+ years because when the partner passed there was no mention in a will or any document of them contributing. Suddenly it wasn't their place to live.

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foodandart@lemmy.zip ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
My mom is in a similar boat.

She’s been in Hawaii for decades, living with a guy and they’re not married and she’s not on the will for the property that he owns - even though she’s paid the taxes for it on and off over the years…

I have asked her why he can’t set that up to take care of her if anything happens to him and it’s just that he’s lazy and thinks - like a lot of people do - that he’s going to last forever.

I worry about it, and mention it often but the answer is always the same.

Am like WTF mom, he’s no spring chicken - neither are you - what ARE you two thinking?

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- Rhaedas@fedia.io ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  If anything the rest of our family has taken the lesson to heart to put into place things to protect their loved ones. And like you said, they could have done even a little to help themselves before it got too far, but for some reason they procrastinate, avoid or refuse help, and even lie and say they have everything worked out.
  
  I hope your mom's situation changes for the better to protect her, and you. If their relationship with each other is still good (some get toxic) I would push it hard and use some guilt and hypotheticals to get him to do something official if he cares for her at all. And if not... now might be a better time to cut loose than it being forced on her.
  
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  - foodandart@lemmy.zip ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Thank you!
    
    Oh, they are absolutely dedicated to each other, he adores my mom and she loves him fiercely but he is just not willing to consider a will and face his mortality. It’s common, honestly. I am going to be doing a full court press on the matter this coming year. Mom is in her 80’s and is in good health, they both are - but still.
    
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