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jve@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

But public transport? Nobody wants to be there. You’ve got a goal and it’s not socialising, it’s getting somewhere. Maybe you’re anxious about going to the doctor, maybe you’re anticipating a shitty workday.

Fully with you.

It’s annoying to have to talk to other people when you’re trying to think about things.

I would argue that a large chunk of the people you describe above are not “trying to think about things”, they’re just trying to get to point B.

And again, research consistently shows that these interactions tend to be viewed much more positively after they happen than those same people expected them to be, and it holds for either side of the interaction.

I’m sure I’m preaching to the atheists here in the comments. All those replying here all seem to be convinced already, and that’s fine.

Guess I just think it’s interesting that those that would bother to come on the internet to talk to strangers are so convinced that it would be annoying to talk to strangers.

People on the bus or train are just people.

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boonhet@sopuli.xyz ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

I would argue that a large chunk of the people you describe above are not “trying to think about things”, they’re just trying to get to point B. They’ve got a goal, after all.

This might be a me thing. I am never not thinking, planning, solving problems. My brain doesn’t do idle very easily.

People on the bus or train are just people.

You’re from a different culture probably. Literally, most people don’t want unsolicited interactions where I’m from. If someone’s approaching you to start a conversation out of the blue, they’re going to be asking you for booze or cigarettes. Or money. Or they already got their booze and now they’re making small talk. And for 50% of the population, the other 50% of the population can be seen as threatening based on gender alone. So it’s polite to just shut up and let other people be. You gotta have a reason for talking to people who aren’t expecting to be talked to. Not bothering anyone is part of our culture. You don’t go to the ER unless there’s an axe in your skull, because going there just because you’re only MILDLY dying, would be bothering the doctors and nurses and all in all just too much of a fuss.

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- jve@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  
  Literally, most people don’t want unsolicited interactions where I’m from
  
  You’ve talked a lot about this with others I take it?
  
  If someone’s approaching you to start a conversation out of the blue, they’re going to be asking you for booze or cigarettes. Or money. Or they already got their booze and now they’re making small talk. And for 50% of the population, the other 50% of the population can be seen as threatening based on gender alone.
  
  These percentages do make your vibes and intuition much more convincing.
  
  So it’s polite to just shut up and let other people be.
  
  It’s not impolite, sure.
  
  You gotta have a reason for talking to people who aren’t expecting to be talked to.
  
  I do have a reason. You just don’t personally like it, except for the other times when you choose it. You’ve convinced yourself that I must want something, so stranger danger bad.
  
  Not bothering anyone is part of our culture.
  
  Which culture is this? How is “bothering” defined? You seem to be acting like eye contact and a smile means I’m after your money
  
  You assume I’m bothering people. I assert that I don’t believe it to be true. My point of view had some evidence, which I have linked throughout these comments. Yours are stated as fact despite clearly just being your vibes.
  
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