Comment on Thoughts about responsibility
Perspectivist@feddit.uk 1 week ago
What’s the alternative? I don’t see one. Becoming cynical because of what others do and then starting to behave that way yourself is just betraying who you are. I can’t make other people act the way I want, but I can keep living the way I wish others did. At the end of the day, at least I can stand behind my own actions and go to bed knowing I didn’t contribute to everything that’s wrong in the world.
SorryImLate@piefed.social 1 week ago
This is the conclusion I reached too in a different context.
I see you’re on feddit.uk, so you might appreciate my experience. Probably TMI so feel free to ignore :) I moved to London from South Africa in my early twenties. South Africans are much friendlier and more open than the Brits, and I was raised to be helpful and kind to strangers, except I wasn’t used to the impact of public transport exposing me to so many strangers, or the difference in how people (mostly men) would interpret my behaviour. I had a large number of bad experiences, the worst one being a man following me off the bus one night, expecting to be invited into my home.
Anyway, 6 months after moving there I realised I was walking with my head down, unsmiling, avoiding all eye contact, and not allowing any conversation with strangers. I was miserable, so I made a conscious choice to be friendlier again but to learn to set clearer personal boundaries. It is much harder to look someone in the eye, recognise them as a person, and then say no in a kind but clear way. I’m still not perfect at it and have undoubtedly given away more money than I should have but I’m much happier with who I am.