Don’t freak out about it “becoming like reddit”. It’s designed like reddit! It’s inevitable that it will look like Reddit in many ways, and inheret many of its social norms too, unfortunately. The good thing is, if any instance seems to particularly suck, you’re not stuck with “lemmy” as the only option. You can find other servers that don’t federate with the trashy instances, or focus on things closer to your hobbies or those niche communities you want to see more of. You’re not stuck with one single “lemmy” like with reddit.

Just be the change you want to see: Want to see more niche communities? Make some well meaning posts in some, even if they appear dead. See a lot of a-holes? Don’t let them spoil your mood and continue to post/reply nice things. If you’re easy to troll, just block the agitators that want to poke your buttons instead of angrily replying.