Once when I was a kid I drank a 2 liter bottle of coke on a road trip and was busting to pee. Like a Linux user wanting say they use arch. We finally stopped at a gas station and I let er rip. Felt so relieved, felt human again. Started walking back to the car, the color left my face and my lips started tingling because they were so dry, realized there was a second piss tsunami aftershock forming. So I ran back to the the bathroom. But the thing is, my mum saw me walking back to the car after my de’piss’ot. Then when she looked up again I was gone. She thought someone stole me.

And that’s when I learned how much my mum loved me. Enough to hug and kiss me crying in a gas station parking lot but not enough to say ‘you probably shouldn’t drink 2 liters of coke straight from the bottle’