I’m in the process of switching off the apple ecosystem and my main learning so far has been to go slower than you think, change is hard and time consuming. I recommend the following.

1) Switch one thing at a time

I made the mistake of buying new devices before I had switched any service providers. This meant I had to switch and test a new os and multiple new services simultaneously, which was extremely stressful. Switching one thing at a time means the process takes longer but is more likely to keep her motivated and engaged.

2) Plan what to change and the order of the steps

It will help her motivation if she has a goal and knows why she is changing something, particularly if she can find a reason other than just platform compatibility. Think about things like cost, privacy or ethical considerations, practicality of services you two (would like to) share e.g. calendars, shared albums.

Timing also matters. First priority is those services which have compatibility issues with android and/or linux, for which you will need to find a cross-platform alternative. Other services she might only choose to change after switching her OS, to options that aren’t available in the apple ecosystem.

Start with the services she uses a lot or which have strong emotional value. If you can’t switch those, the experiment is over.

3) Osxphotos for faces

Apple photos does not have the option to export a lot of metadata. Particularly relevant for me was that no information on faces is exported, which is something I spent a lot of time on. I switched my photos to Ente, using their recommended approach directly on my iPhone, and none of that metadata transfered.

I recently discovered Osxphotos (on github), which lets you export all the metadata on a mac. That’s actually next on my to do list - export my photos on my mac and reimport them to Ente.

4) Setup the new os in parallel

Install Linux on a partition on her mac, so that she can switch between MacOS and Linux. That gives you time to work out any issues. If she likes it, she will naturally start using Linux more, until eventually it becomes her daily driver.

5) New hardware comes last

Hardware is expensive and it sucks to spend money and then feel like you have to use something which you don’t really like. So use linux on her mac and consider buying a 2nd hand phone to test and play with before switching her sim.

6) Be careful of dependence

Be careful of self-hosting too much for her. Think about what happens if you’re not around for any reason (accidents happen) and ensure she has a good plan and knows how to access and transfer her data from self-hosted to alternative options. That’s why I prefer Ente to Immich.

Also, if your self-hosted services go down at a critical time for her, that could be bad for your relationship.